bottleneck analysis

Fresh insights about energy, politics, travels, sports, music…

Which Side Are You On?

Tallinn, Estonia

DISCLAIMER-THAT-I-DON’T-NEED: I may or may not have made references to past, current, or future employers/schools/publications/friends. The internet is not a real place anyways.

Throughout my mature life, I was/am/will be torn in between controversial issues for my own beliefs. Working for a company/organization which has interests in furthering what I hate the most (wars, economic blockades, antagonistic discourses, racism, supremacism, machism…). Writing articles that make people working in these places/publications twitch and edit it all out or refuse it. Working for a government that despises its own Constitution, which says that “Italy repudiates war” and still our army kills and gets killed in armed conflicts abroad, among other horrible things. Studying and getting a bursary to link and justify a regime with limited freedom to the eyes of armchair bureaucrats and intellectuals in Europe. Keeping my friendship (or even Facebook friendship) with people whose beliefs are so distant from mine that I can’t believe our relationship even started. Possibly applying to work for energy companies that pollute, exploit, and corrupt (all of them?). Arguing in academic circles about the relevance of the use of a confrontational and biased attitude from our Western (or sometimes Semi-Western) perspective built by newspaper articles and rhetoric from various pundits (isn’t the purpose to understand and analyze? Aren’t we just judging and misrepresenting instead?).

Coping and sucking it up has become a true skill of mine. I should put it in my CV: “I will be able to withstand all the bullshit that goes on at your workplace”.

But isn’t that what most of us does every day? What am I complaining about? I am sick of this fake “courage” of mine that pushes me into dead ends where I can only realize how awful the world can be on this side. While I try to gain the necessary courage to successfully make the move to a side that is more in line with my thinking, I will keep learning to the tiniest details what is bad and needs to be eradicated.



I’m on that side. The other one.


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